Even though I've never used an iPhone, the iPhone is a piece of shit

by MARTY ROSS, LITERARY AGENT

You're thinking about getting the iPhone?

Don't! One word: overrated. It's a total piece of shit. The keyboard is, like, impossible to use. And the call quality is not even that good. This thing is still supposed to be a phone, right?

No, I don't own one, but I know a lot of people who do. My assistant just got one.

And while I haven't used one in a hands-on sense, per se, I have seen people use it and have read lots of articles about it online. And man does that call quality suck!

Is what I am told.

Plus the battery life is terrible. I'm pretty sure I read that on a blog. The thing is always running out of power at the most inopportune times -- is what I can only assume I would say if I owned one of those things.

And my buddy, who works at the Apple store (so he should know) says that it's 2.5G. Which is not nearly enough Gs for me. I prefer 7-8 Gs, but at least 5 in a pinch. Why should I have to settle -- for $400 no less?

But hey, it's your money. Who am I to say anything, right?