COLLEGE RADIO HOST: Welcome to “Let’s do Lunch” – a college student’s window into Hollywood. Today we have producer Bruce Millings. Welcome Bruce. Thanks for stopping by.
BRUCE: Happy to be here.
HOST: Let’s say one of our graduating seniors wanted to work in your production company, what advice would you give them?
BRUCE: My number one tip: be a girl.
HOST: Be a girl?
BRUCE: Yes. Be a girl. I only hire female assistants. But before you go all Gloria Steinem on me, I’m not sexist. I’m the opposite of whatever sexist is. I think women are great. They’re so much better at doing assistant stuff, like opening my soda can.
HOST: I don’t see how gender fits into opening a can of soda.
BRUCE: Do you know how hard it is for a man to open a soda can? No nails. Can’t do it.
HOST: Why don’t you buy plastic bottles with screw-tops? Anyone can open those.
BRUCE: That’s besides the point.
HOST: But that is the –
BRUCE: It’s not just the cans of Diet Dr. Pepper. It’s other things too, like when I need my anal suppositories picked up from the pharmacy, a woman can handle it with the discretion that is needed.
HOST: I guess you don’t need to be discreet about it now.
BRUCE: Ahh, but yes I do, for I haven’t told you what the suppositories are for.
HOST: So… then… how did you get your start?
BRUCE: It was rough. My dad was running a studio at the time, so I had to start out as a junior creative executive.
HOST: So you were never an assistant.
BRUCE: No and I think that’s what makes me such a good boss.
HOST: Okay - Looks like we have to take a commercial break.
BRUCE: I just want to say to those kids out there, stick it out. I was you once, and look where I am know. Goes to show anyone can do it if you have the right dad or great boobs!
HOST: Thanks Bruce.
BRUCE: My pleasure.
HOST: Stay tuned for our next guest, Background Actor on Scrubs, Alumni Lyle Covington.
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